7/26

Finally arrived in Tokyo.
The flight was too long...
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Met up with Saki and Takama, had a small gathering.
None of us changed since last year.
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Hope I will get to meet lots new people tomorrow during the orientation.
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Suddenly I am not too sure why I ended up here...
I hope this career will somehow make me a more loving and caring person.

7/22

Just 3 more days before I leave for Japan.
I am not feeling anything, no excitement yet.
I probably won't feel it until I arrive in Tokyo.
It would be so hectic the first week after I arrive... although I am familiar with the routine: Not enough sleep on plane --> travel from one place to the other by train --> unpack --> visiting people --> jet lag --> not enough sleep again --> pack and unpack --> moving into new apartment --> paper work --> getting new cell --> open bank account --> meeting new people --> introduce myself, etc etc.
I am on my own as always, after all the trouble, everything will start fresh again.
It has always been like this every stage of my life. Attended a different elementary/highschool than everyone else from my community; moved to a new province for university; went on exchange without knowing anyone; now leave everything behind again.

I don't have much feeling for places I guess.
I didn't feel sad at all when I left Japan after I spent a year there. My dad said I am cold-hearted. A normal person who enjoyed a place so much would have felt something.
But somehow I had this feeling that I would probably return to live there someday again, so I secretly kept a 2000 yen bill in my wallet.
It's been sitting there for a year, and now I get to use it again.

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Reminder:
No sincere love from guys.

7/19

3 days ago, an accident happened on Peel. The street where my apartment is.
They were sitting on the patio of a sushi bar. AND THEN... a piece of concrete came off from the building and fall on her. It took her life away... her husband was screaming.....
It was his wife's birthday that day...
She must be really really lucky...
I felt sorry.

Me, a graffiti artist?

I guess that's possible.
Would have been awesome:D

Had a date with Alex on St. Laurent.
We found random spots and took lots pictures.

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What we had for dinner?

Ultimate fattening Montreal poutine!!!

Last visit to Montreal Museum of Contemporary Art

Visited Montreal Musem of Contemporary Art this afternoon.
I personaly think the exhibition was a good one, if anyone else's thinking of going.
Below are some of the works I found interesting.
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Robert Polidori's collection of photography.
He took pictures of the deteriorated interior of many different sites, which was once ornately decorated and possessed by people with high status.
You could really see the tragedies in these pictures. The glamour that it once had could just vanish through times of chaos.
(reminds me of The Last Emperor, watch that movie if you haven't!)

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Christine Davis

Words projected onto a background full with buttons with 2 mirrors at the side.

I walked into this dark room mesmerized... took me a minute to figure out what was going on with her work.

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Adad Hannah

Collage using projectors

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Spring Hurlbut

A collection of antique cribs and cradels. Lots of them rusted.

Although it's a huge collection of cribs and cradels sitting in the exhibition room, it felt like walking in a cemetery.

Dad's early birthday

Since I was leaving for Montreal, we had a tiny celebration/gathering for my dad's special 50's just two months before his real birthday. Maybe we will celebrate again if he comes to Japan in August :D
I just love this picture so much <3
So much love and happiness in our family.

Jazz Festival

Yes, the famous Jazz Festival in Montreal.
There were a couple different stages set up at Place des Art.

The main one for last night was Rio Tinto Alcan.

I guess the theme yesterday was African Cuban jazz. The music's got this happy atmosphere to it, it's the kind of jazz that would never sound sad.

It was so crowded, people mingled and danced around. It would have been so much fun if I could dance like that too...

Having hot dog and ice cream also goes well with anything outdoor in the summer.

Dialogue between me and Tom

TomMi :
if I were you, I can't wait to head over to Japan
Sabrina :
yes.. but i am scare!!!!
i can't teach!!!!
TomMi :
Yeah lol
Sabrina :
and my english really sucks...
TomMi :
I wish I was there to see
Sabbi teach english
Sabrina :
what am i gonna do...
TomMi :
you will get better
Sabrina :
i fooled them at the interview...
TomMi :
Like I want to teach english but I don't know english at all!
pre-tenses, adverbs...stuff like that...I DON'T KNOW!!!!
Sabrina :
me either...
we both suck
TomMi :
yeah
I only know how to speak english and write
i don't know the rules!
Sabrina :
i am bad at spelling
TomMi :
me too
LOL
Sabrina :
i will need a dictionary beside me...
TomMi :
hahaha
this will be fun
Sabrina :
and i am shy
how am i going to face so many students staring at me at the front
TomMi :
just speak english to them
maybe you should learn to moon walk
so if it gets awkward....you can just moon walk across the classroom in the front...
Sabrina :
o
TomMi :
you'll be the coolest teacher ever
and also, it will be the funniest thing in the world
Sabrina :
you will try it first when you become a teacher
TomMi :
ok
Sabrina :
i'll follow if it works
TomMi :
If the students are being loud
or bad
just moonwalk across the front
and all the students will be thinking......what.the.fuck.
then *awkward silence*
Sabrina :
yeah japanese students.... they are shy too... and less open minded
they will think you are creepy
TomMi :
i don't think it's japanese people....
i think in every country
Sabrina :
i would think he's the coolest ever
TomMi :
the kids will be so amazed LOL

7/11

I am determined to fix my messed up life style.
At least a little bit less messed up.
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Jason told me that he's going to Osaka with Tony.
He calls it "Ando Trip". What a fan...I was surprised... Good courage Jason. One big boy and a little boy going around not knowing their way in a foreign country.

Me: You must be joking... You couldn't even get around without me in Tokyo and you are taking Tony???
J: Yes I can get around, except this time we visit some residences.
Me: They will think you guys are stalkers...
J: no?

Lovely shirt look

7/6

Vancouver feels like Taiwan, Montreal feels like Vancouver.
It doesn't seem real to me that I am already back to Montreal.
I guess being alone again isn't as bad as I originally expected; or maybe being alone again doesn't feel real to me yet.
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thank you for the white cherries, didn't think you would remember. That's very sweet of you.
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After dropping off my passport and visa application I just don't feel like doing anything.
Grocery is empty. Will be eating leftover from lunch. Wish someone could just cook for me.
Don't feel like doing anything AT ALL...
Going to let myself lying in bed and rot for the next 20 days unless something comes up.

7/4

Don't want to go back to Montreal tmr...
The flight is too long...

7/3

I got my china dresses back yesterday from the tailor.
Just a week ago, I bought them.
I have always wanted to have tailored china dress. I loved the color and pattern that I saw, so I ended up getting 2.
Thinking about my new china dress before I recieved the real thing made me happy.
Now I have them with me I would love to wear them someday somewhere, but all of a sudden I lost that strong interest for my china dress.
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Just 2 more days before I return to Montreal.
I felt the time is always too short to get anything done during my stay in Taiwan.
Too many people I want to spend my time with.
Once I got too comfortable around my family, I just don't feel like going anywhere...
But I have to go back...
grahh...I am so sick of moving around. Sometimes I really want to settle down somewhere, but no place is yet perfect.
In Taiwan I have my family but limited freedom; in Vancouver the living standard is good but too much boredom; in Montreal I've got freedom but shitty winter; in Japan I have my new career but I could never blend in as a foreigner.
I don't know if I am living this way because I chose to, or because it's my destiny to live like this. I have people around me envy me having all these flexibility to live like this, but I can't be satisfied. I want to develop long term friendships and close friends around me; a real lover and stable relationship; gathering with family/ relatives; a comfortable place to live in and decorate my place without considering about moving every year.

7/1

Alex: [Thesedays, I'm so skeptical about where I'm positioned in their minds. I'm afraid that after 3 years I make jokes on Sabrina's photos, and Sabrina will get so upset and swear at me? WWWW. Well, everyone would say "no way" but what I always learn from my life, there's "no way" or "never." I'm not saying you're gonna turn away from me Sabrina]

Above was what Alex wrote on her blog.
I don't think it will ever happen for me to do something like that. I never turned away from any of my friends, unless they betray me.
But I realized, the less I try to keep a relationship, the better it turns out to be. The harder I try to keep someone I usually end up losing them. I could never figure out why things tend to turn out this way.
I think I used to be so concerned about keeping a friendship/relationship. It made me feel so stupid... Not that I don't care about anyone, but it would be better if I learn to be indifferent; like Alex said, you never know how you are positioned in their minds.